I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
