It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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