90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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