so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need water and some morals
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
