apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
