You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
