Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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