finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
