i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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