All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Randomize
