Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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