Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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