Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
