go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
