Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
