Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
