That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
