I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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