take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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