My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
