so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
