I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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