It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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