It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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