Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
