It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
