i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
honey bunches of taint.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
