Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Holy sore nipples Batman
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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