I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
