we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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