Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
