I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
