the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
