I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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