Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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