I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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