i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
