you turned your livingroom into a bong?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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