Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
