There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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