I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
