Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
