if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
