i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
