No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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