They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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