ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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