HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Randomize
