My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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