plz talk dirty to me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
