it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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