let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
