What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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