I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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